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Thread: Short jokes

  1. #1

    Short jokes

    I thought a thread of short jokes might get a bit of interest and action in the group. Not necessarily jokes about short people, just quick, one-liners or a couple of lines.
    I'll start with....
    Why do hippos have sex in water?
    Well, how else would you keep a 3 kilo clitoris wet?
  2. #2
    A dyslexic walks into a bra....
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  3. #3
    Not real short but one of my favourites since I was a kid -

    A woman is waiting at the checkout at a supermarket when a bloke comes up behind her wearing a Sherlock Holmes hat. He looks her up and down, looks at her shopping and says "madam, through the process of logical reasoning I can assume you are single."

    The woman is amazed. She looks at her clothes, looks down at her shopping and sees nothing out of the ordinary - eggs, milk bread, usual stuff. "That's amazing," she says "how could you possibly know that?"

    "Because you're f%*cking ugly."
  4. #4
    Bahahaha
  5. #5
    Haha lol.
    Only one liners I know are dad jokes, but here's a clever one which I like:
    There's a penguin driving his Cadillac through the Nevada desert, suddenly he notices there's smoke billowing out from behind his car, he knows there's a small town up ahead and manages to get to a mechanic. The mechanic says it will be a little while so the penguin goes for a walk and being a penguin in the Nevada desert, he heads straight for the ice cream parlour and orders the biggest sundae they have, seeing penguins have flippers the poor prick couldn't use the spoon and by the end he had ice cream all over him. Anyways he wanders back over to the mechanics and he asks the mechanic has he had a look at his Cadillac, the mechanic says "Yes, but it looks like you've blown a seal" the penguin wipes his mouth and says "Nah, its just ice cream".
  6. #6
    Haha, love it
  7. #7
    I went to the zoo the other day expecting to see lots of different animals. How disappointing, there was only one dog there. It was a sh!t zu
  8. #8
    FB_IMG_1524574222610.jpg


    Happens every time :)
  9. kerry's Avatar
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    #9
    mickey mouse is in the divorce court ,the judge says to him " you simply can't divorce Minnie because she's stupid ". mickey replies" I didn't say she was stupid , I said she was f@%*ing goofy."
  10. assassin's Avatar
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    Oct 2011
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by kerry View Post
    mickey mouse is in the divorce court ,the judge says to him " you simply can't divorce Minnie because she's stupid ". mickey replies" I didn't say she was stupid , I said she was f@%*ing goofy."
    Hahahaha....good to see you back mate! Was worried that you might have run off and joined a cult or something!....Or was suffering Dementia!!!



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